Caution: This post is not about #ALLBLACKMEN even though Black men never use caveats about Black women. It is satire. Hit +  dog = holler. Enjoy!!!


Dear Black Men and Black Women Who Blame Black Women For All of the Black Community’s Problems,

I am sorry. Sorry that I and other Black women have had high expectations of Black men. It is because previous generations of Black men spoiled us and actually took care of business. You see, they provided for their children. They had jobs and some created jobs on Black Wall Streets all across America. Black men led movements, ran for office, created banks and business and founded historically Black colleges even under the Black codes, Jim Crow and threats from the KKK. What a bunch of uncle toms.

They really believed in the Black family. After slavery, many Black men who were separated from their families walked thousands of miles to reunite with them. Those simps! You see back in the day, when a Black man impregnated a Black woman at most, the community forced him to marry her or he was at least expected to take care of her and his children. In the old days, Black men were shamed when they did not provide for their children. Heck, I remember in the 1980’s when the uncles, cousins and grandfathers of the neglected children held the dead beat dads accountable. They’d beat the hell out of guy until he made a promise to care of his children.  And guess what? He did. Those men who held him accountable were upholding White supremacy. Sell outs!

I am so sorry that I expect you to have a relationship with your children even though 72% of you decided not to live with your children and  some of you are not with the mother. Black women, we have a lot of nerve to involve the White man and take Black men to court for child support even though some Black men have refused to help pay for their children. Kids don’t need things like food, water and shelter.Those are optional. Anyway that’s what the government,  Black women and Black grandmas for are for. Black women, we must stop being greedy.

You see, my blues ain’t like yours. Black men have it worse. The White man made you drop out of school, commit crimes, sell drugs and sexually abuse 60% of Black girls. It was the White man made you terrorize our communities with gang violence. You are in no way at fault. It was feminism made you abandon your children.  It was feminism that makes you abuse and kill your partner at an alarming rate. And it was feminism that made do all those other things that White man made you do. You commit the most of the crimes in my community but I am the blame. It is Black women’s fault that 33% of Black men in the criminal justice system willfully place themselves there and that 15% of Black men in America are unemployed.

Oh Black man, I will continue to be silent when you call me bitches and hoes in your music. It is after all, just entertainment. I will be silent when you tell me you don’t like dark butts because you have a preference. I promise to be silent when a Black woman is abused or disrespected by the police, nonBlacks or other Black men but will march, create hashtags, set up funds for your family, wear tee-shirts and take part in online and offline activism only when Black men are injured.  I will continue to support your projects and efforts for equality even when you vilify mine because if I do talk about Black women’s issues it is divide and conquer.

Brother, I will stand beside you even though you uplift nonblack women while justifying your dating choices by dogging Black women. We all know that  Black women are the only ones who are out of shape, single mothers, loud, ghetto or wear weaves. I will call your interracial relationship a preference that 20% of married Black men have made even though you call the 6% of Black women who have married interracially bed wenches. I will continue to be the blame for the so called marriage crisis even though there are two million more Black women then there are Black men and that Black men have the highest unmarried rate in America. Those two major points should not and are not  told in the Black media because Black men do not buy relationship books. How dare I expect marriage and fidelity when  I should accept man-sharing, perpetual baby mommahood, polygamy and infidelity. Polyandry?  Ha, we all know that Black women who have more than one partner are sluts but a Black man who has more than one partner is a man being a man. So you are right. It is all Black women’s fault because we refuse to submit to men who will never marry us. I will gladly submit to you but happily ignore the part of the bible in 1 Timothy verse 8  where it says, “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.”

You see men like Marcus Garvey loved the Black woman and worshiped the Black woman. The nerve of him. He even had the audacity to put the Black woman on a pedestal exalting her beauty. They said Black is beautiful and they actually meant dark skin Black women too? Isn’t that crazy. It was because he was whipped.

I am sorry that Black women have been deceived into believing that they have agency over their bodies. Don’t they know that Black women’s bodies are community property to be street harassed, raped and abused? Don’t they know that the Black community can tell if a Black woman loves her Blackness because of a hairstyle? She is a hair hat after all but Black men can alter their hair with du-rags, pomaides, s-curls, gels, hair plugs and even toupees and no one questions their self-love.

Black men I acknowledge that my burden is to ignore my needs, my rights, my wealth, my health, my sanity, my safety and my humanity just to protect you. I must coddle you like a mammy. I must  give my body over to any Black man because of Black unity. I must  raise Black children alone and get blamed for everything goes wrong. My job is to motivate you to succeed because you have no reason to. I must have low expectations of you, infantilize you, emasculate you and uplift you because you because others think you are incapable of doing this yourself.  I am sorry Black man.  I beg you. Please forgive me  and accept my apology for expecting you to be a man.

Signed your sister soldier, dependent, independent, too strong, not strong enough, greedy, broke, mammy, manly, mule, selfish, sperm reciprocal, too high standards having, low standard having, no standards having, bitch,  hoe,  ghetto, bougie, self hating, too self loving, relaxed hair altering, nappy headed, hair hat, too Black but not proud to be Black and dark butt,


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