For Black women to survive and thrive Black women must say good-bye, adios, and sayonara  to the Black community. I am not asking you to give up your Blackness or leave the people we love behind. We can’t. We will always be Black but we must collectively see ourselves the way Black males see themselves. Black men see themselves as men who happen to be Black, hence racio-misogyny. Black women must see ourselves as women who happen to be Black so that we can pursue interests that serve us. It’s time to leave the Black community utopia purple unicorn, Easter bunny, tooth fairy and Santa Claus  myth behind and grow up.

Don’t believe me about Black men seeing themselves as men who happen to be Black? Not once have you heard the same Black men in entertainment who were demanding for the removal of Donald Sterling from their court side seats and twitter feeds say #bringbackourgirls. But you did see Black women share in the push to get Sterling removed. So where are “our” Black men?  Saving and thinking about themselves. The fact is that these Black men will not take part in any collective outrage unless it is about them. Not even the kidnapping, buying and selling of little Black girls can move them. Have y’all seen BET or rap music? They damn near condone it. But by all means they will remind you to please go see their movie, buy their album and fight internet wars in their name.  If that doesn’t show you where they stand nothing what will. I won’t call these men selfish. No, they are smart. They use their collective capital to serve their own interests. I want Black women to do the same.

Please, please, please don’t tell me about a strong “Black community” when by the age of 18 60% of Black American girls have faced sexual abuse and when our girls in Black nations aren’t even safe. Please don’t tell me about the Black community when young men are killing each other and innocents over blue and red rags made in China. Please don’t tell me about the Black community when 80% of Black American fathers have abandoned their role as primary care taker. I don’t do mythical trolls, dragons, two-legged ponies, rabbits feet or make-believe. The numbers speak for themselves.

Of course there are those Black women who believe in a “Black community.” They blind. Really, I don’t blame them. They are holding on to a set of lies that was sold to them by people who know that lie will never ever benefit Black women. They cling to lies because it makes them feel good while that same racio-misogynistic Black man in the Black community is calling them a bitch. They need the roles given to them because without the role of maid, mammy, Jezebel and Sapphire, without someone victimizing them or humiliating them they have no identity and they are free. Freedom is scary. So guess who benefits from holding out the mythical cookie of the Black community? Not Black women.  What I find incredibly funny is that many of these Black women who decry the evils of America’s racist patriarchal society have no problem with a racio-misogynistic one headed by Black men. Hypocrisy much?

I have a question. In the past let’s say 30 years what has the Black community done for you? How has it improved the lives of Black women that Black women haven’t done for themselves? What policies has it enacted to make your life better? Has it protected you? Has it uplifted your image? Has it offered you support? Has it stood up for you? We all know the answer. Hell to the naw so why do you willfully choose to take part in an infrastructure that does not specifically benefit you? I will say this over and over, race loyalty ended when Black people profited from calling me a bitch. Race loyalty ended when Black people mocked the pain of Black women in slavery. And race loyalty ended when Black people became White supremacists. When will it end for you? Me take that? I love being Black but I love myself even more. Be loyal to yourself. Be” you” first and live your life.