I was watching the Steve Harvey clip above on YouTube. In this clip the wife says that her husband dislikes her natural hair. This makes me sick. The fool was running out of the house because of her natural hair. What? The funny thing is he has the same damn hair. Unlike what others want you to believe by saying this is about attractiveness or maintaining the same look or  excusing the stupid by understanding how he feels, it’s not. Natural hair is beautiful but let’s be real. This man has deep seeded issues with himself. Her natural hair bothers him because it reminds him of his own. His natural afro-textured hair. You know the one he cuts off every two weeks.

Husband dislikes wife's natural hair. Image via Youtube

Husband dislikes wife’s natural hair. Image via Youtube

Secondly, in the clip she taking blame for how he feels? What? Screw how he feels. It’s her body. He is the one with the problem, not her. Honestly, she isn’t the only one I have seen do this. Black women must stop asking permission, stop understanding how others feel, stop giving a damn about someone else’s opinion and stop apologizing for doing what you want to do with your body. Black women’s bodies are not community property. Let me remind you once again. It’s your body. Wear your hair the way you want. Weave, relaxed, natural and/or bald, go for it. It’s your hair and it’s nobody’s god damn business what you do with it.

Look, when was the last time you heard a man apologize for wearing their hair the way they want? When was the last time you saw a man sit on TV and on social media cry about how his wife doesn’t accept his natural hair? Never, because Black women don’t do that to Black men but it’s always the opposite. Which gender really suffers from self-hatred? Hmm? This mentality is deeply rooted in sexism and Black women who give these people the time of day are willfully participating in it. If a man, husband or not,  isn’t giving you the same say over his body that you are giving over to him, you are a fool. You are willfully acting against your own interests and your emotional and mental health.

I believe this until my last breath. The hair debate is a shell game for Black women. If your hair is natural, someone says you should straighten it. If you wear a weave or wig, someone says you hate your natural self. If wear your hair straight, you accused of being a negropean. You see, you can’t win and you will never win when you worry about what others say. That’s the point.

Now that we know  the debate over YOUR BODY is a game to control you, stop giving people power over you that have no business having power over you. Own your body. If a partner who claims to love you can’t accept what you do with your body maybe your relationship isn’t about love.