Instead of going on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, at they mama’s house or on their PS4 where they can hate Black women, you can fulfill your ashy shea butterific colorist needs at the latest dating site for Black people, Smoochr. I ain’t linking to it unless they pay me. Yes, a website supposedly about “Black love” wants you to pick your potential mate by color and even hair texture. You’re asking yourself, “what kind of f**kery is this” and “is this real?” Yes, it’s real. How do I know? I signed up so you don’t have to.

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This site is hotep heaven. The first thing they ask you about is your hair. You have the choice of saying if your hair is natural, a weave, extensions, locs (they spell it locks), beard, big hair, afro, short hair or a beard. You know. Important character stuff. Then they ask the general questions like, “do you have a car”, “what’s your ethnicity,” and bio. In the lips section you’re asked if you have thin lips, soup coolers (what the heck is that) or duck lips. Chile!! Then you’re asked about your complexion. The typical Mocha, Vanilla, Chocolate, Almond, Latte, etc because Black skin can only be described in Starbucks coffee flavors. ((Rolls eyes!)) And that was it. Obviously the website is in development so I won’t put up a picture.

I can already hear the colorist and texturist apologists say it is about preference. Preference is saying I like pink lipstick instead of blue. Texturism and colorism means eliminating an entire group of people out of your dating pool simply because their hair doesn’t curl the way you like or their skin color isn’t the right shade of black. Don’t y’all find it ironic that these “preferences” always seem to emulate Eurocentric beauty standards? HMMM!!!

Look, we shouldn’t be surprised a website like this exists. Black people, specifically Black men have been making their “preference” for the Rachel “the last racebender of the world” Dolelaz’s for years in music, movies, art and most recently in memes and the “I hate Black women” circle jerk social media forums. So why wouldn’t a smart person start this kind of business? They know their audience, the market and the fact that colorists Black people exist. The creator of Smoochr is appealing to them. I think it is brilliant, but of course in a yucky way.

Y’all know me. I always want Black businesses to succeed but this time, NAH!

Anyways, would you join this dating site? Tell me what you think. The only limit you have is the one you have placed on yourself. Think and be limitless.

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