I don’t hate America. I served it proudly in the United States Navy. I dislike the direction it is going. As James Baldwin said, “I love America more than any other country in this world, and, exactly for this reason, I insist on the right to criticize her perpetually.”

People have asked the age old question why are stupid people famous i.e. the Kardashians, reality show people, rappers, etc. Well the truth is Americans are stupid and they like seeing their image reflected on TV.  Let’s be  honest we reward ($$$$) it.

We don’t speak foreign languages. The only time we speak another language is if it is on a menu. In fact, some Americans are offended when other Americans speak more than one language. They insist that other Americans speak Murican. Remember the out cry over pressing one for English.

Some schools have taken foreign language and the arts off of the curriculum to make room standardized tests. Standardized test make American kids perform like seals. Our kids are taught to memorize random questions instead of using their brains to question and analyze them. This ensures that Little Susie will be a good unthinking and unquestioning drone. By the way, we don’t have the best education system in the world. We rank 19th in reading and 29th in math (read here). Guess who was the number one country? Singapore (Shanghai ranked number one but isn’t a country or for you Americans, a restaurant). Singapore, you know the place where they cane you for chewing gum. They ranked number one. I forgot to mention that one state in the United States ranked high with other countries. That was The Peoples Republic of Massachusetts. Good job comrade Deval Patrick oh and hats off to Mitt Romney Lenin for enacting universal health insurance.

If you have a Harvard degree or heck any kind of fancy book learning you are called an elitist and that’s bad. If you are a preacher who was ordained online like I was (I charge $50 for weddings and funerals) or if you think that proof of their deity’s existence is because of a banana, you are good. We have more people in America who believe in ghosts and angels than those who believe in global warming. By the way, there is proof of global warming. The angels and ghosts stuff, not so much. And travel overseas? Forget it. People don’t have their passports. They wouldn’t know where to get one if we had a big sign at the post office telling them where to get it.

When a video about cats taking catnip (which I am guilty of watching) has more hits than a congressional hearing, it might make you question if we are truly a intelligent sign of life.  When more people voted on an American karaoke show than they did in the Presidential election something is clearly off. Let’s not forget, we reelected George Bush TWICE. Enough said.

While you are fighting over

  • if two people who happen to be of the same-sex should get married
  • if the commandments of sheep herding schizoid mystic plagiarists should be on your state capital
  • if you should be an insensitive asshole and say Merry Christmas to your Muslim neighbors
  • or if President Obama is a Muslim, liberation theologists, socialist, communist, Black, half Back man who is hell-bent on enslaving the White race

President Obama just turned over the control of the FCC  to a guy who lobbied for those same companies he is charged to regulate. That doesn’t sound very socialist to me. YAY MURICA! Talk about the fox guarding the hen-house. In this case, it more like a pimp pimping his hoes. And guess who are the hoes? Yep, you’re getting screwed.

America, we have forces invested in our ignorance. Companies, politicians and other so-called leaders get to make decisions on your behalf without your protest. So yeah let’s pretend that, that last winter we endured wasn’t insane and the summer we are facing won’t make us melt like the wicked Witch of the West. So keep on pretending that protesting racial and gender inequality makes you a racist or someone who hates men. Let’s pretend that both political parties aren’t funded by the same corporations and both parties, like the bloods and crips, don’t play on your worse fears.

I am convinced that Americans like being stupid. It comforts us. We need to be distracted by our smaller brains and super-sized foods, homes and waistlines because to face the reality would drive you mad. Mad and practically unemployable like I am. So heck yeah team Murica; be stupid and proud of it. USA!