An open letter to “Pick Me” Black women who hate Black women

Before we get into the letter, let me define what is a “pick me?” According to the Bougie Black Girl Dictionary (I made that up), a “pick me” woman is defined as a Black woman sick with ashy-peen-itis. She’s obsessed with it. “Pick me” women are more misogynistic than most men. She centers the entire Black existence around Black men. 

How can we spot a “pick me?” The pick me occasionally refers to men as “men” and Black women as “females.” She’ll do anything including trashing other Black women for a pat on a back and a like on Facebook. She follows well-known Black men misogynists on social media and lurks their comment sections proclaiming she’s a different kind of Black woman.

The “pick me” mentality is:
1. A Black woman’s relationship status determines her worth. Being a single Black woman means you should shut up because you’re defective and no one wants you. If you’re a single mom, well, you’re the devil.
2. Community peen is acceptable because man sharing is better than no man at all.  NonBlack men are not an option. No chocolate for you Jake!
3. Men shouldn’t pay for child support because the man, not mom, and child would suffer. By the way, the pick me thinks since the mom picked him and should’ve been psychic, she and her child should suffer.
4. Feminism, contraceptives, the right to vote, the right to work for equal pay, weave and makeup caused the destruction of the Black family.
5. Weave, makeup, and relaxers are evil.
6. Wigs, tap water and weaves “turn” Black children gay.
7. Black men are always right, and Black women are always wrong.
8. Black men are always right, and Black women are always wrong.
9. Black men are always right, and Black women are always wrong.
10. And Black men are always right, and Black women are always wrong.

Now that we’ve defined the “pick me” let’s move on to the letter.


Dear Pick me chicks,

I dislike you with the heat of 100,000 white-hot suns. You’d do anything, even down your sisters for a pat on the head from a negro who wouldn’t look at you if you were the last hot wing at a Superbowl party. In fact, that man hates the way you look because you look like me. He hates you even though you scream about not having a weave and a relaxer. He hates you even though you don’t wear makeup and believe KFC, a can of Fanta and sex in a car is OK for a date. That man, your pandering to, hates you because you’re Black.

Here’s the truth. You’re sick with ashy-peen-itis. You’ve got a self-hating demon in you and I rebuke it. If you don’t change your traitorous peen obsessed ways, I hope all of your ancestors snatch your edges in shame. I hope you age like non-GMO tomatoes in the sun. I hope when you get old your kids drop you off at Shady Pines Nursing Home and never visit your ass. I hope all your hair gel flakes and your edge control fails. I hope your bonnet falls off your head at night and your hair rubs against a cotton pillow. I hope all your chicken is unseasoned and dry. I hope all your soda is flat and your kool aide is sugarless. Sister get help, self-respect, and self-esteem. Be gone you old foul and filthy Black woman-hater and stand with your sisters.

With the love,

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  1. angelaroselle 5 May, 2017 at 11:03 Reply

    Such Black women have internalized misogyny and hatred of themselves and other Black women. These women are male identified and identify as Black men. To me, the danger these women present to the livelihood of Black womanhood outweighs the danger misogynists, sexist, colorists and violent men present to it. I try to distance myself from such women.

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